This is my story
by Aleck-Xandra
Summary: Looking back, I could have definitely handled the situation better, but even if I could go back and change things I wouldn't. If I did it would sound like some fairy tale and this really happened. This is my story. 10th walker, shameless self-insert. Warning: may contain strong language and moronic decision making.
1. Rude Awakening

It took me longer than it should to realize something wasn't right. First thing I should have noticed were that the sheets weren't right, the thread count was higher than I could afford. When I stretched I should have noticed that my dog was missing. When I got up I should have noticed the cold floor wasn't cheap linoleum tile. I only realized something was up when I took my daily five steps to the light switch and tried to turn it on. My hand met empty air and I rubbed my blurry eyes until the world came into focus. In retrospect I should have handled the situation better because the first thing I did was let out a blood curdling scream. My head shot towards the door when I heard shouting on the other side. In my panic I didn't quite act rationally. I grabbed the nearest unlit candelabra and shoved it through the door handles effective locking the door. Frantically looking around for another exit I saw a balcony. While running towards it I tripped on the long nightdress, which I don't remember wearing when I went to bed last night. I picked up the hem only to drop it in surprise when I saw the view outside. If memory serves I went to sleep on a tropical island, and I somehow woke up in a forest. The door shook violently, startling me out of my reverie. I rushed to the railing and my heart sank at the 15 foot drop. Scanning the area I saw another balcony adjacent to mine and on the opposite side of _that_ was a tree within climbing distance. There was a 3 foot gap between the balconies and normally I wouldn't risk that, but my body was in fight or flight. As I climbed onto the railing I heard someone kick the door savagely, it wasn't going to hold. Taking a deep breath I ran along the railing to the closest point and jumped. I heard another loud smash and a clang as the candelabra hit the floor. My feet crumpled underneath me in my landing and I ended up sprawled on the balcony. Knowing they were in "my" room I got up and made a dash for the tree. A voice stopped me in my tracks. Like a deer frozen in headlights I looked into the room to see a short man with a full beard. He said something in a language I didn't understand and my panic doubled. He saw that I didn't understand and said what I could only guess what a curse in a completely different language. It sounded harsh like German. My eyes flicked over to the tree and he took a step forward saying more words in the German like tongue that I was sure were meant to be soothing. My eyes locked with his and I knew he wasn't going to hurt me. Strangely as he continued to speak to me the more the words made sense. Eventually my brain made out, "_I'm not going to hurt ya lass_."

My shoulders relaxed and he smiled a little. My back went ramrod straight again as a shout in another language came from "my" balcony. My head whipped around to see a tall blond man pointing at me and talking to someone in my room. I took a step towards the tree and a hand landed on my arm. I nearly flinched away until I saw it was the short man. I was so confused and scared. I asked, "_Where am I_?"

It took me a second to realize I spoke in the German sounding tongue. His eyebrows shot up but another shout from "my" balcony distracted him. His brow creased in anger as he yelled at the tall blond man in the other language. They traded a few words and again, as they spoke what they said made more and more sense. Eventually the short man stomped his foot and I understood, "Can't you see your scaring the girl?!"

This whole thing was much more than I can handle especially just after waking up. My knees gave out underneath me but the short man caught me leading me down to the floor. I looked up at him and said in the new language, "What's happening to me?"

He seemed surprised again and I felt another hand land on my shoulder. My head shot around to see the tall blond and I flinched away from him. His brow furrowed and he shook his head, "I'm not going to hurt you my lady."

I curled myself into the shorter man who continued to glare at the blond man, "It doesn't seem like she trusts you elf. I'll take her back to her room."

Again I should have realized that indeed that tall man had been an elf, but I think my brain had reached maximum saturation. The tall man looked sad, like he didn't want me to be afraid of him but nodded. He stood and backed away keeping an eye on me before exiting the room. The short man ran a hand through my hair and said in the gruff language, "_It's okay lass, let's get you back to your room_."

As my brain started to function at a less panicked level I shook my head and leveled a look at him and demanded, "_Where am I_?"

His eyes didn't stop being warm and comforting even at my demanding tone. He continued to run a hand through my hair, "_You're in Rivendell. If you don't mind me asking, where did a human learn the Dwarven tongue_?"

I blinked a few times and asked, "_Dwarven?"_

A light bulb seemed to go off in his head and he switched to the other tongue, "What language do you speak lass?"

My brain was hey wire cause I knew that the two languages I know understood weren't English. I shrugged, "English...and now it seems I know two more...I didn't understand you at first but the more you spoke. It was like I was learning it as you spoke...what's going on?"

He had a genuinely confused expression on his face as he asked, "Is 'English' a tongue of men?"

My brain finally clicked and I pushed away from him putting some distance between us but he still had a light hold of my shoulders, "Wait a minute did you say we were in Rivendell, as in _Imladris _the elvish city?"

He nodded and it felt like I swallowed a 50 pound lead weight. My focused my eyes down on the floor of the balcony and asked, "And you're a dwarf from the Lonely Mountain?"

He grunted as he knelt down next to me and lifted my face to look at him. He nodded his eyes still confused. I drew my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, "So I'm in Middle Earth?"

His thumb rubbed comforting circles on my shoulder. "Where else would we be lass?"

I buried my face into my knees and groaned, "Oh Christ I need a drink."

That earned me a chuckle from my new friend and he said, "Not sure that's what you need lass."

I looked up at him and asked, "We're speaking Westron right?"

He nodded, "Where does this 'English' of yours come from?"

I rubbed a hand over my face and I said, "Very, _very_ far away."

I moved my feet underneath me and my dwarf friend helped me stand. Sadly I realized I wasn't that much taller than him, maybe 6 inches or less. He looked up at me with a grin, "For a human you're rather small."

I grimaced and nodded, "I know, don't quite need to be reminded of that right now. Wait human?"

My hands shot up to my ears and I let out a relieved sigh. He laughed and asked, "What did you expect lass, to wake up as an elf?"

I leveled a serious look at him, "You would be surprised how many stories start out that way where I come from. To be completely honest I'm not quite sure if this is real. I am kind of hoping it's a dream."

He started to lead me towards the door, "Why is that?"

I shivered at the thought, "Because if it isn't I have no idea how to get home."

He patted my shoulder and said, "Lord Elrond is old and wise, I'm sure he could help you find your way."

I shook my head and mumbled, "Unless he's got a TARDIS stashed away somewhere I sincerely doubt it."

He led me back to my room and shut the door behind us. He stood there assessing the damage I had caused when I had blocked the door. He asked, "What's a 'tardis'?

I spoke without thinking, "It's an acronym forTime And Relative Dimension In Space."

He turned to me slowly a very confused look on his face, "'Acronym'? 'Dimension'? Lass I'm not sure we are speaking the same language anymore."

I paused clenching my eyes shut before letting out a long sigh, "No, no we aren't."


	2. They ALWAYS believe the Mary Sue

I forgot the Disclaimer for the first chapter and found it much to complicated to go back and change it.

Disclaimer: I think we all know I don't own Lord of The Rings or anything related to the franchise and I'm not making money from this and blah blah blah we all get it.

* * *

Several introductions, a debate about a dress, and a few hours later I was sitting in a study. Seeing as I was fidgeting with the skirt of my _dress_, you can safely say I lost that debate. Elrond (who, by the way, only faintly resembles Hugo Weaving) was pacing back and forth in front of the fire. My dwarvish friend, who turned out to be Glóin, had insisted I talk to the head of house about my problem, namely the one about getting home. Or at least that's what he told me, there is a possibility he might think I have some mental stability problems. Being the only person had I trusted at that point I told him about where I come from (trying to explain a combustion engine, when you don't know much about them in the first place, is rather of hard). So far Elrond was taking it better than Glóin did. Which means the elvish lord wasn't laughing his ass off like I said the funniest thing in the universe. I only got Glóin to shut up when I had mentioned something about him nearly getting eaten by trolls. He gave me a very suspicious look and I couldn't meet his eyes after that.

Elrond sighed and mumbled something in an elvish tongue. I cleared my throat and he looked at me. I said quietly, "If you really don't want me to understand what you're saying it would be best just to keep it in your head. So far I've learned Dwarfish, Westron, and while we were waiting to talk to you I picked up Sindarin. I seem to have a knack at just picking languages up. If you have an idea as to why that's happening I'd _really_ like to hear it."

He nodded not looking at me, "Master Glóin mentioned as such. He also said something about a language called 'English'?"

I crossed my legs for the fifth time. "Yes, it's the national language of my home country."

"Ah, yes this 'United States' and you are very sure we cannot find it on a map?"

My patience was starting to wane. They obviously didn't believe me. I uncrossed my legs and propped my elbows on my knees. In a _very_ un-lady like fashion I let my head fall into my hands. I sighed loudly, "Is there anything I can say that will convince you I'm telling the truth? I'm not crazy and I'm not lying." I looked up at him head in one hand, "Where did you guys find me?"

He turned arms crossed, "In my daughter's personal garden."

I looked at the floor before making eye contact again, "I going to guess that when you found me I was nude. I don't own anything that looks like that night dress."

He nodded a disapproving look in his eyes, most likely because of my current posture. I sat up straight and again crossed my legs trying hard to remember how to be a lady. I hated that for some reason I wanted his approval. I fought the urge to clear my throat again and asked, "Can you think of any way I wondered all the way to your _daughter's_ personal garden, nude, and not a single person saw me? I'm not an elf, or at least I wasn't the last time I checked, so I'm sure someone would have at least heard me coming. Please sir," I slouched slightly again a pleading expression on my face, "I just want someone to believe me."

I was reluctant to use my knowledge of Middle Earth to try and gain favor. If I told him I knew Estel was Aragorn he might assume that I was a spy for the enemy and not what I claim. Elrond walked over and knelt next to my chair putting a hand on my arm. His eyes seemed to be searching mine and he said quietly, "I do not sense evil in you, but this is a time of war. Spies of the enemy are everywhere."

That was when an idea struck me. I pretty much blurted out the question, "What is the date?"

Having written quite a few LOTR fan fictions in my time I am quite familiar with the dates on which certain events happen. I knew that the fellowship left on December 25, that Frodo arrived in Rivendell September 20, _and_ that Gandalf arrived two days prior to that. Elrond's brow rose at my question but he answered none the less, "September 17."

My arrival here couldn't have been timed better...damn this really did sound like a fan fiction. I put my hand over Elrond's and leaned towards him. "You're going to want to interrupt me but just let me say my piece and you can throw me in a dungeon afterwards. You have already sent scouts out to look for the Hobbits and Strider." Like I had thought Elrond eyes narrowed dangerously but he kept his mouth shut allowing me to finish, "Glorfindel..." I then realized I had spoken too soon. I had no idea whether this was movie cannon or book. If it was the movie, which would be swell considering I am more familiar with that particular cannon, it was Arwen who rode in with Frodo. If it was the book though Glorfindel is the one to find them and send Fordo on ahead by himself. They did have something in common though. "Glorfindel's horse Asfaloth will bear Frodo here in three days time. Tomorrow Gandalf will arrive astride a horse known as Shadowfax with news that Saruman has sided with the dark one Sauron. You probably don't believe me and I can see why you shouldn't times being what they are." My mind flashed to the lead player in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead saying that last part but I shook my head to clear it. "Lock me up and do whatever you need to do to protect you and yours, though I would prefer if you didn't torture me until _after_ Gandalf gets here."

His eyes were cast down in thought and he pulled his hand out of mine. He stood and returned to the fire. I could see the tension all across his shoulders. He asked, "How do you know this?"

I nearly face palmed, he asked the only question that I _really_ don't want to answer. I'm more willing to give the man my cup size at the moment. Thinking quickly I said, and not very convincingly, "As it is you don't believe me. This bit of knowledge wouldn't help my case at this point in time. Let's wait for Gandalf before I answer that question."

He turned his eyes hard as he stared down at me. If looks could kill...well you know. He nodded to himself before saying in Sindarin, "_Guards._"

Two elves in armor came through the door. It would be a bit more intimidating if they were burlier but who's ever heard of a burly elf? I stood unsure if I was going to be shackled so I left my hands to my sides. I looked at Elrond with all the sincerity I could muster and said, "I'm not lying."

There was a heavy silence in the air before he nodded, "I believe you."

His gaze moved to the guards, "_Take her to her quarters. She is not allowed to leave._"

I sighed, it was better than a dungeon, but on second thought they might not even have one. The walk was silent. When we got there a guard opened the door for me and waited for me to enter. I paused in the door and inclined my head to him and said quietly in Sindarin, "_Thank you._"

The door was shut quietly behind me. I fidgeted with the skirt some more as I sighed. I've never been too good with waiting. I moved out to the balcony and leaned against the railing. Now that I stood and took in the view I noticed more things. Far below a river flowed beneath the building and, by the sound of it, it came from a waterfall. Rivendell really was quite a beautiful city. A throat cleared to my left and I turned to see Glóin standing at his railing looking at me. I smiled at him and moved closer. He spoke first, "I take it your meeting went well?"

I leaned forward so my elbows were resting on the rail. "You haven't seen the guards outside my door then."

His brow rose and I gave him a weak smile, "Apparently it's possible that I'm a spy for the enemy. Who would be stupid enough to send a human to spy on elves? I'm not quite sure, but it's too risky to let me roam free until he is completely sure I'm not."

He looked at me critically for a second, "Are you?"

I sent him an incredulous look, "Of course not, but a spy would say the same damn thing."

He leaned closer to me and asked, "If you're not a spy how did you know about the trolls."

I let my forehead make contact with the stone railing and mumbled, "What is it with you people and asking questions that I really don't want to answer."

I sighed for the hundredth time today and looked at him, "I know because...I've read Bilbo's book."

He gave me a look that said he thought I was insane, not the first time either. "He hasn't finished writing it lass, how could you have read it?"

I rolled the dice, "I told you in my world I lived on a planet called Earth...this is Middle Earth...I've read a book what hasn't been finished yet..."

His blank look told me he wasn't picking up my train of thought. I sighed and said, "Hasn't it occurred to you yet that maybe I'm from the future? Everyone knows the age of men is coming and where I'm from its getting closer to the _third_ age of men." I could be digging myself a hole, but it was a believable reason as to my knowledge. "I've read histories about Middle Earth, not all of it admittedly, but some of it." Well...a _marginally_ believable reason as to why I know what I know.

My hopes for him believing me went down the hole I just dug when he started laughing. He slapped his knee and said between chuckles, "Future, oh that's a good one lass. You've got quite the imagination."

My mouth dropped open before snapping shut in frustration. I stood from the balcony and turned my back on him. I started moving towards my room when he called out, "Hey wait, where are you going?"

I turned to look at him my anger nearly palpable, "There's only one reason I haven't jumped over there and snapped you in half."

He looked me up and down obviously skeptical of my ability to do so. I turned and started walking back to my room calling back, "Then there would be two of you and that's _twice_ the amount of stupid in the world."

I left my balcony and walked over to my bed. I turned and let myself fall back just as a knock sounded from my door. I grit my teeth quite sure if it was Glóin that I was going to punch him in the face. I got off my bed and smoothed my dress before walking towards the door and opening it. One of the guards was holding a tray, probably taken from an elf to came to drop it off. I can't imagine one of these armored guys walking through a kitchen. I took it with a smile and a thank you and retreated into the room. He closed the door after me and I set the tray down and nibbled on my food. With my appetite gone and the event of the day starting to catch up with me I decided I should just sleep the rest of the day away. Sleep was how _I_ dealt with shock. I changed into a night dress and crawled into bed. In no time I was sleeping a dreamless sleep, deep down hoping that when I woke up next I would be back home in my own bed with another really weird dream to tell my sister about.


End file.
